Saturday, March 13, 2010

Love...on a sour dough roll

+ =

Each week, I have people writing to me saying, "Senor Caliente, how can I bring passion back into my relationship?"

The answer is simple- Make your woman a sandwich, people. There is nothing sexier or more decadent than the tender act of making a sandwich for your girl. Tonight I want you to do something special for your woman. Turn out all the lights in the house, put on some Barry White, light some candles, and when your lady comes home- tell her you've hidden a pastrami on rye somewhere in your pants, and you need her to find it. What happens next will take you to a level of pleasure normally reserved for angles in Heaven.


-Caliente

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Many a Sandwich...

Many a sandwich there have been...

Y'see, Just as someone believes that Peanut butter and Jelly on white bread is the best sandwich in all the lands...a new entrepreneur steps in and says, "You got it all wrong, Dartanion...It's all about Turkey on Dutch Crunch!" Truly this is the cosmic shame of life...but then again you already knew that or you wouldn't be reading this.

-A reading from Jared to the Subway Customers...